Photo: Sean Black
Like all parents,Melissa Rivershas been forging through uncharted territory since 2020.
“It puts so much pressure on the parent. At least it did for me, because I had to be the strong one. I had to be the [one saying], ‘It’s okay, we’re going to get through this,'” Rivers, 53, tells PEOPLE. “And there were times that I said to him, ‘You’re miserable being here — trust me, I’m not so happy being trapped in the house either.'”
An advocate for mental health care since losing her father Edgar Rosenbergto suicidein 1987, Rivers knew it was imperative her family monitored one another’s well-being while the COVID-19 pandemic raged on. And as a board member ofDidi Hirsch, a Los Angeles-based non-profit that provides free mental health, suicide prevention and substance abuse rehabilitation services, she was acutely concerned when the mental health crisis among young Americans approached astate of emergency.
“Obviously, I live in fear — the teen suicide numbers break my heart. And sadly, the age is getting younger, and younger, and younger,” says Rivers, who will be honoring the 2,160 lives lost to suicide each day at theAlive Together: Uniting to Prevent Suicideevent taking place Sunday in L.A.’s Exposition Park and live-streaming globally.
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“It was scary. With my son, I had to really encourage conversation, because he’s not the kind of kid that does that, yet he’s very, very sensitive. We had to talk about how hard it was, and encourage him and his friends to have these conversations.”
“We’ve talked very openly for years about surviving the suicide of my father, how it is not a solution, and the damage it leaves behind. … I’m really honest with the stories about what I went through, and what my mother went through, the issues it’s caused and the things that I have to be aware of as an adult,” Rivers says about conversations with her 20-year-old son. “I have abandonment issues that are very difficult for me at times for different reasons in my life, but my dad killing himself when I was 18 years old — it affects you. So it’s always been a very big discussion in our house.”
“Every time there is a very public suicide or things like that, we do talk about it. He, much more than probably most of his peers, has the vocabulary to discuss it,” she says of Cooper.
Rivers emphasizes the “bigger umbrella” factors that contribute to suicide risk when speaking to her son about her father’s death.
“I don’t think mental illness per se runs in our family. … I always am very careful about the implications of [saying] that, which can be so negative rather than saying, ‘Hey, my father suffered from depression, and we didn’t know it until it was too late and we had already survived his suicide,'” she explains. “So it’s like, ‘Hey, there can be a [genetic] component to that, just like alcoholism or heart disease or cancer, that you have to be aware of and not be afraid to address. If you’re not feeling well you’re going to tell me, so you have to also tell me mentally when you’re not feeling well.'”
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“You can save a life today. Literally, you can make a difference today,” she says. “People need to come out and support. Donate. Help places like Didi Hirsch, who can move the ball down the field not just on a local level, but on a national level.”
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go tosuicidepreventionlifeline.org.
source: people.com
