Saturday Night Livehas found itsBrett Kavanaugh.
Theseason premiereopened with a scorching parody of Kavanaugh’sfiery testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committeeon Thursday — withMatt Damonplaying PresidentDonald Trump‘s embattled Supreme Courtnominee, 53.
Leslie Joneskicked off the cold open as Fox News host Harris Faulkner. “We are halfway through the Kavanaugh hearing,” she said. “It’s special coverage at the Fox News we’re calling, ‘Wuh Oh!’ Judge Kavanaugh himself is about to appear, so let’s go live to the Senate hearing room, where two of the oldest white people I’ve ever seen are about to run a circus.”
The hearing started withAlex Moffatas Sen.Chuck GrassleyandCecily Strongas Sen.Dianne Feinstein. Moffat joked, “We just heard some very moving testimony from Dr. Ford. I listened to her, and I kept a very open mind, and that is why I already voted yes for Kavanaugh before she said a word. Now we’ve heard from the alleged victim, but now it’s time to hear from the hero, Judge Brett Kavanaugh.”
Will Heath/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty
In a suit and blue tie, with Kavanaugh’s salt-and-pepper hair, Damon drew gasps and applause from the audience as he stormed in and sniffed repeatedly.
“What!” he screamed after sitting down.
“Judge Kavanaugh, are you ready to begin?” Moffat asked.
“Oh hell yeah,” Damon said angrily. “Let me tell you this. I’m gonna start at an 11. I’m gonna take it to about a 15 real quick. First of all, I showed this speech to almost no one. Not my family, not my friends, not even P.J. or Tobin or Squi. This is my speech. There are others like it, but this is mine. I wrote it myself last night while screaming into an empty bag of Doritos.”
He held up a calendar modeled afterKavanaugh’s from the summer of 1982. Tearing up, he said, “I’ve got these calendars. These beautiful, creepy calendars.”
Damon continued, “You just want to humiliate me in front of my wife and my parents and Alyssa freakin’ Milano.” A cardboard cutout ofMilano, whoattended Thursday’s hearing, appeared behind Damon’s shoulder.
Mocking Kavanaugh’sdescription of his drinking habits, Damon said, “Look, I like beer, okay? I like beer. Boys like beer. Girls like beer. I like beer. I like beer.”
Dratch asked if he ever blacked out from drinking. “I don’t know, did you? Huh? Huh? Huh? Did you ever black out? Sorry, I didn’t mean that. I think I might have blacked out for a second.”
Damon later made fun at Kavanaugh’s claim that hewas a virgin in high school and in the years after. “I didn’t have sex for many, many, many years,” he said. “All I did was drink a lot and not think about having sex at all. I was the proudest, drunkest virgin you’ve ever seen.”
After shotgunning a can, Damon said, “And live from New York, it’s Saturday night.”
source: people.com
