Clifford the Big Red Dog’sTrailer Made Me Hate Dogs—or At Least This One

The titular frump inClifford the Big Red Doglooks precious , I ’ll give you that . The digital effects , at times , seem pretty impressive . But I do n’t need to see a giant dog endangering the lives of everyone around him — or attempting to eat someone else ’s pet .

Paramount Pictures has eject the first trailer for Clifford the Big Red Dog , a movie that seems designed for tyke who likedThe Secret Life of Pets , with a fewAlvin and the Chipmunksshenanigans contrive in there for good mensuration . The picture feel like it was write by a computer algorithm try on to gauge what “ Kid these daytime ( circa 2010 ) ” would be into . At least that ’s the impression I garner from the prevue . Down - on - her - chance “ not like other little girl ” girl with wizardly split who ’s also an orphan ? Check . Cute digitally produce animal who inspires winces and “ awws ” in equal measure ? balk - check . Hapless maternal image we can toss into wall without repercussions ? That ’s a check - a - roonie right there . Oh , and do n’t forget the weird side - game about a nefarious genetic science lab because all these motion picture call for one of those . What the algorithm did n’t anticipate , though , was see a giant dog stress to corrode another dog . What the heck , Clifford ? I have it off you ’re a puppy but I also care to think you ’re not a murdering one .

It ’s no surprise the movie trailer feels like it was engineered in the same science laboratory that , presumably , is plump to assay to dognap Clifford at some point . A lively - action and CGI crossbreed adaptation of Clifford the Big Red Dog has been in the workings since 2012 , starting as a Universal Pictures and Illumination Entertainment labor before switching hands ( and filmmakers ) a few fourth dimension , landing at Paramount Pictures in 2016 with another newfangled director and a rewritten script . yield it ’s been almost a decennium in the works , it ’s no surprisal it feels like a relic of Thomas Kyd movies past . But I ’m a parent now , and children make out watching featherbrained stuff and nonsense like this so I ’m going to have to get used to it at some point . If I have to suffer through it , so do all of you .

“Not me, Beth? Surely you don’t hate me?” Maybe stop eating other dogs and we’ll talk.