No ! NO ! My mansion has changed ! According to some made up crap by a lot of masses whodeal in made up crap , I ’m now a Sagittarius , because of planetal movement . unluckily for those who care , this mean absolutely zero .

https://gizmodo.com/why-did-your-zodiac-sign-change-we-asked-the-astronome-5733004

The wizard are giant flaming orb of gas , float in a vacuum . They order nothing . They determine nothing in your lifetime . They do not care about you , or your girlfriend , or your Book of Job , or your babe ’s hymeneals , or your car not starting , or whether you ’re “ the jealous eccentric . ” They do not get to decide whether you get along with Libras , or ca n’t stand Cancers , or are get a bad day . They do n’t wish about anything , because they are giant flaming eyeball of gas pedal , floating in a vacancy . star do n’t even give care about wizard . If you ’re otiose , or seamy , or well anger , it ’s your own fault — not the galaxy ’s .

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Which make all of the media hubbub ( and clamoring of shocked idiot ) fence in the break all the more pestering .

“ You may be a Virgo , scientist say,”quoth Fox News . scientist . scientist .

No .

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Scientists are the the great unwashed who put together and head for the hills the Large Hadron Collider .

scientist arise screens we can bend , find cures for diseases we might catch , and tell us on the dot how those ( mindless ) maven work . But a people who lay claim to have adjusted the Zodiac in guild to compensate for millennia of planetary shift for bring astrology back to its Babylonian truth ? Scientist is not the give-and-take for one of these people . Instead , judge blockhead , quack , retard , etc .

But it ’s actually all fine ! The cataclysm has been averted!According to CNN , it was all just a misinterpretation — the same meaningless recording label applied to your existence you thought you had have been reverted . I ’m a Capricorn again ! Which is to say , nothing . It ’s very easy to avoid disasters that never occurred in the first home , and are the stuff and nonsense of fiction . Did you get wind ? The imminent Lizard King encroachment of North America has been hollo off ! howling news ! The maven must be in conjunction !

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As James Randi demonstrated , horoscopes are designed to indulge to our sad small life . They are generic . They are shallow .

“ You will accomplish a finish presently . ”

“ You are yearning for something . ”

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“ You enjoy the scent of cake . ”

consort to this pile of shit star divination website I just googled , as a recently - restored Capricorn , I enjoy “ hot , simple food , account , not being pressured by others , having plenty of unconditional dearest , and expensive gemstone . ” I have such strange and singular preferences ! I also dislike “ being ride ” and “ loneliness . ”It ’s like the web site has hump me my full life-time .

Like Randi shows , a horoscope can literally be give to anyone ( stupid enough ) , and they will take into it whatever they desire for experience like there ’s some cosmic grandpa up there , ready to give you a hug and tell you it ’ll all be okay . And that you like fun ! And have an aversion to being set on fire !

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There ’s no grandpa . There are just stars . Lots of them . glow matter . unlearned particles . Maybe it sucks , but please — let ’s all be quiet about it and just look up to them for what they are : gorgeous things that could n’t like less that we subsist .

Photo byNASA Goddard Space Flight Center(real scientist )

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